Shower Truths
by P.T. Tucker
Summary: Sephiroth doesn't know how to handle these sort of situations, but he tries his best. (Or, Zack comes home smelling like a sewer and Sephiroth can't escape.) [ASGZC, but only the ASZ are in this fic]


**AN: Brief mention of pet death! (Don't worry, it's not Zack's pet.)**

Sephiroth's nose crinkled as the bathroom door opened and closed. He peered through the opaque glass that lined the shower. Dark hair, dark uniform, too short to be Angeal.

He continued to wash his hair as Zack stripped out of his clothes and dropped them into the laundry basket with the sort of care normally reserved for explosives. The basket lid dampened the smell somewhat, but not enough for Sephiroth to not desperately wish washing his hair didn't take literal hours. He would cut it if not for Cloud's thinly veiled adoration whenever he ran his hands through it.

Sephiroth took several steps back when a mission-weary Zack stepped into the shower alongside him. There were…things on Zack's face.

Zack followed his gaze, his hand coming up to touch the spot of _something_ before he slumped over in defeat. "Don't ask."

He looked no different than the yearly batches of dejected SOLDIER hopefuls who'd not passed the test. Sephiroth tentatively patted him on the shoulder. His hand came away sticky.

Sephiroth attempted to go back to washing his hair - after thoroughly scrubbing his hand clean - but even he wasn't immune to the sad sight of Zack Fair standing underneath the hot water, unmoving, as if he hoped it might drown him if he stared down at the floor long enough. Sephiroth's eyes darted towards the door, but of course everyone else was either on a mission, patrol or teaching duty. No one would be coming to save him.

"Do you require comfort?" Sephiroth asked, entirely aware that the question was unbearably awkward. That _he_ was unbearably awkward.

Whatever he'd done seemed to work as Zack's head picked up and the other man smiled at him. Not his usual smile. This one was still a little disappointed - in himself? - but a smile nonetheless. Sephiroth smiled back.

"Nah, I'm fine. Mission just went a tad FUBAR, if you know what I mean." Zack frowned then, and Zack Fair frowning was a sight Sephiroth would have given his sword arm to prevent seeing, and added, "I guess you wouldn't know what I mean."

Sephiroth stared at the shampoo bottles that lined the area, a feeling of inadequacy suddenly coming over him. How one could feel inadequate for never having failed was a mystery he doubted even Angeal could explain with all his understanding.

Except he _did_ fail. Often and usually in a spectacular manner. Just not in battle.

"I congratulated Simmons on the death of his cat last week," Sephiroth blurted out, wanting, _needing_ , Zack to see that he wasn't perfect.

Zack stared at him for a full ten seconds before he suddenly snapped his hand up to his mouth, though that did little to stifle the laughter.

"Oh Gaia, Seph, that's awful!"

Sephiroth winced. "I'm aware."

"Do I even want to know why you thought that was a good idea?"

"He didn't appear happy with the leisure time it took from him or how he was required to make arrangements for it whenever he was assigned an extended mission. I was under the impression he'd be pleased that it was no longer his responsibility." Upon later examination, Sephiroth had come to the conclusion that he'd been exaggerating the hardships as a testament to how much he did like the cat. It was something people seemed to do, for whatever reason.

"What did Simmons say?" Zack reached for his bar of soap, his spirits apparently lifted enough to begin washing that _stuff_ off of him. Sephiroth relaxed. Perhaps he hadn't required saving after all.

"He explained that my sentiment was not appropriate." It had been fortunate that Simmons was a First, and well-aware of Sephiroth's…peculiarities.

"That's-"

The bathroom door opened and closed. Dark hair, dark uniform, not Zack for obvious reasons.

Angeal didn't bother undressing before sliding the shower door open. His eyes ran across Zack's skin, from the very top, down to the very bottom.

Zack turned and showed him his backside. "I'm not hurt."

Angeal let out a breath. "I heard your mission went south."

"So you ran out on the class you were teaching? And here I thought I was only a little more important than your sword." Zack popped his hands onto his hips as his voice drifted into the 'teasing' tone Sephiroth had learned to recognize.

Angeal rolled his eyes. "I was worried, Zack. Rumors were that a trooper ended up taking out _your_ monster. They said you went down in the field, but you weren't in the infirmary when I called them, and you weren't answering your PHS."

A chill ran through the room: a SOLDIER down. Not words anyone ever wanted to hear, and not just because losing one of their own was beyond painful. When a SOLDIER went down, the backup troopers were usually soon to follow. A bloodbath.

Zack slumped over again. "Sorry. I should have let you guys know. I didn't realize the rumor mill would make its way around so quickly. And my PHS got fried when…uh…" He reached up to rub at the back of his neck and a look of absolute horror passed over his face as he pulled his hand away. There was something green stuck to it. How it'd survived the water currently cascading down Zack's back, Sephiroth didn't know.

"Is that what smells so awful in here?" Angeal's nose crinkled much like Sephiroth's had.

Zack flushed. He scrubbed the green terror off his hand and refused to look at them. "It wasn't that bad. It just startled me is all. And the monster was already almost dead anyway! It just…" The flush spread down across his shoulders and up his neck. His next words were barely a whisper. "It threw up on me."

"…It threw up on you," Angeal said slowly.

"The smell overwhelmed you?" Sephiroth guessed.

"That and it got in my eyes and they _burned_ and I ended up slipping in it and-"

Sephiroth couldn't stop the laughter. Zack painted a ludicrous picture, one which he didn't seem able to get out of his head.

"Haha. At least I didn't congratulate someone on their pet dying."

Angeal looked between them before pressing a hand to his face. "What am I going to do with the two of you?"

"You could join us?" Zack gave him a cheeky grin that was entirely lost on Angeal, as he appeared to be working under the impression that if he left his hand over his eyes long enough they, and all of the problems they brought with them, would disappear.

"Agreed. Or at least close the door." The water was spraying all over the bathroom. Genesis would have a fit when he came home to find his favorite towel already damp.

Angeal peaked at them through his fingers. Zack pressed his palms together in a silent plea. "All right, I suppose I should at least help clean that off of you before you get it all over the apartment. But first I'd better call the others in case they hear the rumors and worry. Also-" Angeal picked up the laundry basket that Zack had tossed his uniform into. "-I'm burning this."

Zack squawked as he walked out the door with it.

Sephiroth frowned. His pants were in that basket.

 **AN: Let me know what you thought! :3 All reviews are loved and constructive criticism is more than fine.**

 **Also, feel free to follow me on AO3 if you also want to see my explicit fics (username pt_tucker).**


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